The Truth About Loneliness & Self-Abandonment: How to Come Home to Yourself

I Was Surrounded, but Starving

The Truth About Loneliness, Abandonment & Coming Home to Myself

There’s a moment on every healing path where the silence gets loud.

You’ve let go of the relationships that required you to abandon yourself.

You’ve stopped bending, performing, shrinking.

You’ve finally chosen you.

And suddenly… it feels lonely as hell.

But here's the truth no one talks about enough:

Loneliness is not the same as abandonment.

And until we learn the difference—we keep crawling back to what hurt us, just to feel less alone.

Abandonment is the wound

It’s not just what happened to you.

It’s what you made it mean.

Because trauma isn’t just the pain—it’s the silence that followed.

It’s the belief that somehow, you were the problem.

“If I had just tried harder...”

“If I hadn’t needed so much…”

“If I had been able to fix them...”

“Maybe then they would’ve stayed.”

This is how the wound gets coded:

We stop trusting our truth.

We start chasing love instead of receiving it.

We believe we must earn connection, not be worthy of it by existing.

So we bend. We break. We become who they need us to be.

Not because we’re weak.

But because we thought love came with conditions.

And that’s how we learned to abandon ourselves just to be chosen.

The heartbreak no one talks about:

We sell pieces of our soul just to feel connection.

We learn to:

Stay quiet instead of speaking our needs.

Smile when we’re breaking inside.

Be who they want instead of who we are.

Not because we’re weak.

But because it’s what we were taught love required.

This has been the heartbreak story of my life.

Not the breakups.

Not the betrayals.

But the slow, invisible erosion of self I tolerated just to feel included.

I wasn’t just abandoned by others—

I abandoned myself trying to keep them close.

And then… loneliness arrives.

Not because you're unloved.

But because you finally stopped trading pieces of yourself to feel safe.

And that moment—right there—is sacred.

Because loneliness is the pause between lives.

It’s the cocoon after the breakdown, before the rebirth.

It’s the moment where your nervous system still craves connection,

but your soul refuses to compromise again.

You’re not being punished.

You’re being cleared.

And here’s the catch I couldn’t see before:

I feel way less lonely now—single, with fewer friends—than I ever did when I was married and surrounded by people.

I have peace in my body I didn’t even know was missing.

I’m no longer bracing for rejection, or performing to stay included.

I’m not chasing connection—I’m creating it, from within.

And it’s crazy to think… not too long ago, I thought I had to stay where I was to avoid loneliness.

Turns out? That was the loneliest place of all.

The Reframe That Changes Everything:

Trauma says: “This hurt.”

Abandonment says: “It’s because I wasn’t enough.”

Healing says: “It happened to me, but I no longer make it mean something about me.”

You are not here to earn love.

You are not required to abandon yourself to belong.

You’re not too much. You were never not enough.

Your soul is no longer for sale.

That’s what freedom feels like.

You’ve read the books.
You’ve listened to the podcasts.
You’ve journaled, healed, you’ve “let them”…

But here’s the truth no one tells you:
Wisdom without embodiment still leaves you stuck.

You’re not broken.
You’re not confused.
You’re just buried under roles, expectations, and outdated survival patterns.

Deep down—you know what you want:

To trust yourself so deeply you never second-guess again.
To wake up clear, calm, and lit up by your life.
To stop abandoning yourself just to keep the peace.
To finally feel like you’re living—not just managing.

You don’t need another “aha moment.”
You need a reveal.

That’s what we do inside the Midlife Reveal™.

I don’t read to predict the future.
I read to re-write your legacy.

We use your astrology, tarot, and human design to uncover the truth of who you are—
and who you came here to be.

💫 This isn’t mindset work. It’s soul-level remembrance.
💫 This isn’t more information. It’s sacred integration.
💫 This isn’t another thing to fix. It’s the moment you come home.

To the women who’ve felt lonely in rooms full of people—
this is your call home.

Let’s make self-belonging the new standard.

👉 Book your Midlife Reveal™ session.
This is how the cycles end.
This is where your life begins.

Your soul was never for sale.
Now, you finally remember why. 🖤And if you're ready to do the deep soul work of returning to yourself…🔥 Book your Midlife Reveal™ Reading
This isn’t therapy. It’s a soul blueprint.
Tarot, astrology, and deep truth—revealing what’s ready to be healed and reclaimed.

Come home to the woman you were never meant to abandon.
You don’t have to do it alone anymore. Join the free Sol Joy Community on Facebook!!

down load the worksheet- “I’m Not Broken—Just Buried: A Self-Belonging Journal Guide”